So Wednesday weigh in - we all know I am pushing for 60kg before the start of the round - I posted all of my diary entries for a whole week - this was going to be big - 1kg for sure right??? WRONG!!
I walked the walk this week - 100% - but I look down at the scales and see 61.5kg, I see a loss of only 600g!!
Immediately my mind goes into autopilot - I'm no longer in control - the thoughts come into my head and out of my mouth.....
Alas, it's gone!!
The goal is now officially out of my reach!!
The round starts Monday - I will not lose 1.5kg in 5 days.
It's over!!
I've failed again!! I failed at my goals last round and I've failed again!!
I finished last round 2 months ago and I cannot budge this weight!!
I've had 2 months to get to 60kg!!
Why bother even beginning this round when I know now I cannot EVER succeed at achieving my goals??
I've waisted my time I've waisted my effort - all that effort for only 600g!!!
What did I need right then? (other than a slap across the face?) I needed support, I needed encouragement, I needed kind words and a reminder of how far I've come..... and I got it! Thanks to my husband Xx
Out of my mouth was such negativity and defined defeat - out of his - everything I needed to pick myself up and shake it all off!! In my head down, back turned sulk, I heard the words right up close to my ear...
You are my biggest inspiration
You inspire and impress me everyday
Your tansformation has been incredible
You are a fantastic role model for our children
Our 2 year old daughter threw a chocolate biscuit in the bin yesterday because it was rubbish food - who do you think taught her that??
I believe in you - You can do this
You know what - I can do this!!
I have to believe - I have to not think and just do - it all comes down to JFDI!!
Always has, always will!!
I will get through this round feeling more tight tonned and terrific than I ever have in my life - this is a fact - whether my goals turn out to be achieveable or not, whether I reach 19% body fat or not, whether I can do an unassisted chin up or not - I will finish this round - the best version of myself.
This is a fact.
This I will chant to myself (other than the usual "I am strong, I am strong" which I pull out daily). Just follow the program, be consistant and the results will absolutely follow. This is a fact!!
Thank you to my fabulously supportive husband for not rolling his eyes and saying "here we go again with this shit!" but for picking me up and forcing me to listen to all the positives that my defeatist brain didn't want to hear and making me stop the rot and once again start focusing on the positives that surround me.
Love you Steve Xx
