Week 2: Gain 600g
Week 3: Gain 100g
Week 4: Gain 300g
Week 5: Scales Boycot!!
Week 6: Gain 200g
Week 7: Forgot to weigh in - what?!!
Week 8: A loss!!! A loss!!! My first loss of the round!!! Lost 700g!!
How can I even begin to describe how happy I am today??!!
I am soooooo pleased that I have finally had a loss!!
The mental strain of Lean and Strong has so far been 10x more difficult than the physicall strain of the workouts!! The workouts I FREAKIN LOVE! I am stronger than I have ever been - my personal bests are outdone every single week, I am upping my weights almost weekly, beating times, reps and challenges that Mish has set and ones that I have set for myself, not to mention despite my lack of weight on the scales I have more defintion that I have ever had in my life - "but at what cost?" I was starting to wonder..."I am going to go BONKERS if I do not lose some weight soon" is another thought rolling through my head day in day out.
The knocks that I have been receiving (all dished out by nobody but myself of course) have been countless - over and over and over again.
But through it all I can say that yes I have whinged, yes I have been down, yes I have absolutely let it get to me, yes I have driven my husband mental (there may have been more than a few occasions where I start pulling at the loose skin on my abdomen shaking it in front of him angrily), yes I have moaned and complained about my seemingly NIL success..... but through it all I have stayed strong!! I have not once given up, I have gotten up at 430am and trudged off to the gym after crying late into the night before, I have completed Saturday Super Sessions between Super shifts at work, I have come home from a long day cooked dinner for the family and THEN headed out to the gym so my workout wasn't missed, I have been the last to leave the gym at night and been the first to walk through the doors the next morning.... I have SUCCEEDED so far at seeing this through and this consistency will see me suceed in the end I am sure of it (note to self - come and re-read this post next time you feel like you are a failure at this program!!).
I have not and will not give up on this. This is a promise I made to myself and to Michelle Bridges and I don't even care if she hasn't a clue who I am - I am a woman of my word and God Damn it I will see this through!!
4 and a half weeks to go - 2.5kg to lose until I have reached a goal of being under 60kg!! That's just over 600g a week - BIG numbers for someone my size and not overly realistic. To prevent myself from having a meltdown at week 12 weigh in, I'm going to.....deep breath........let go of the weight loss goal....... eeeeeekkkkk can't believe I've even said it out loud (well in print) - I will focus now on shredding these last stubbon wobbly bits as Mish ups the cardio for the last month and I will instead base my end goal on looking in the mirror and liking what I see....... well I can honestly say this might be a bigger goal than the fight against the scales because my first memories of self loathing and disgust came early, at around the age of 7 - so here's to looking in the mirror for the first time in 23years and being proud of what I see!!
Big Call........ But I got this!!
