Photo's Only

I've had a massive day today, physically and emotionally - Just photo blogging today as promised.....

Food Diary for the day

Calorie's Burned Today

A month in Review

As today is the 1st of February and the first month of the year is now behind me (already!!) I thought I would reflect on my diary over the last month and see how I faired with the goals I set at the beginning of the year...... My Goals set for January were as follows:

Page from my diary I made before New Years 2012

So let's see where I sit.....

§  To hit 60kg on the scales 

§  To lose weight EVERY week (no gains)

§  To stay positive and honest

§  To live a mantra every day

Did I do everything I was supposed to do to get there?
 

      §  By eating Clean?  (most days, but not all days)
      §  By exercising 6 days a week?
       (I have been training 3-4 times a week)
      §  By NOT eating any of mum's birthday Cake 
       (I'm a good cook - I caved!!!)  
      §  By tracking my Calories in my food diary 
       EVERYDAY?? 
      (I had 100%  completion of my food diary on
        only 10 days out of the 31 days throughout
        January!!!)  SHOCKING!!!

I really let myself down!! This is so like me - I talk the talk, but can't walk the walk!!

BUT looking at the positives of this situation....

I'm glad this happened NOW and not one month into the 12WBT round.  I'm glad that I have reflected and seen that I didn't try hard enough and that not one of my goals were met because I did not 100% completely succeed at ONE of the tasks that were supposed to get me there!!

Although I am completely disapointed in myself - I'm not dwelling on it - I'm learning from it.  It is so easy to talk the talk, to set the goals to say "I'm gunna" but it takes so much more to ACTUALLY do it.  This is what is making me so terrified of the next round!! Last round I wanted to lose 12kg and only lost 9 - I know deep down that was because I didn't follow the program to the absolute letter.  I HAVE to do that this time and it terrifies me.  I think I'm going to fail myself again!

At least now -  it's in black and white (and red...) that I a haven't done what it takes - I have to recify this!! 

So Mini goal Time:

This week (wed to wed/weigh day to weighday) I WILL:

      §  Exercise 6 days (Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Mon, Tues)

       and

§  Diarise my food HONESTLY all week 

I Will take a photo of my Diary page everyday to prove I have done it - Even if I don't have time to sit and a write a blog entry, I will at least post my100% FILLED OUT diary entry each day regardless.

Here is today's diary

Already I can feel a big number coming along for this week - already I have put things back in the cupboard that I would normally have a little nibble at - because I didn't want it in my food diary!! That's progress.

Little bites add up - what you sneak into your mouth in private can be seen on your body in public!!! and on the scales each Wednesday!!

Conquering the Callipers

The day had arrived – my body fat assessment at the gym – aaaagggghhhhh!!! Let’s think back to my previous post about how I NEVER leave the house without conforming underwear...... imagine my horror at a process that involves pinching my fat rolls and measuring them with callipers!! I have been internally panicking about this since the moment I made the appointment, but it has to be done.  I cannot set a realistic, measureable goal involving body fat percentage without knowing my current percentage. 

I put on my workout clothes, minus my leotard, took a deep breath (winged about it a lot) and hopped in the car to leave – already I feel naked and exposed. 

I scanned the car park at the gym – ok, not too many cars here before 8am – not too many people that have to endure seeing me naked.....

For all those who are not aware of what is involved in the dreaded calliper test.....it goes a little something like this:

Overall the experience was terrible – made no more comforting by the Robot Girl who took my measurements.  I tried to chit chat, ask questions, nervously trying to calm myself in a terrifying situation but Robot Girl was not interested in speaking more than 2 words in a row to me – maybe she was yet to fuel up on caffeine, maybe she wasn’t sympathetic to my plight.... either way I felt underwhelmed leaving the tiny room with the measuring tape and the fat callipers and quite frankly no more knowledgeable about what I really feel I can achieve this round.

I did find out this – My body fat percentage is 25.7% - this, according to Robot Girl’s little laminated chart puts me in the “Good” category – I should be aiming to be in the “Excellent” section with a body fat of 19.7%...... is this achievable in 12 weeks? Robot Girl can’t tell me, should I be aiming for less than this? – Robot Girl, doesn’t think so.....

Thank god for the 12WBT Lean and Strong Facebook page – I have been flooded with information and responses to my questions. So the L&S girls believe that 19.7% is achievable in the 12 weeks... I googled some Body Fat charts – this one is the prettiest..... no, no, no really this is the only one for women I could find and age appropriate.....oh ok, you got me – and it has pretty colours!!

So currently according to my chart, remembering my ripe old age of 3-Oh, I am in the “Fit” category.  So my goal..... to skip Slim (healthy) and charge straight into Lean (low)!!

There I said it!! Old Robot Girl was right – 19.7% is where I should be heading.  I really don't know how all this body sculpting thing works - I am used to setting goals that I know all about - kilos - easy, understandable - this body fat percentage stuff.... tuff! If I get to 6 weeks and I'm not heading in the right directions I'll re-evaluate - but LEAN is what I want to be - that's why I'm doing Lean and Strong!!

The L&S girls also recommended setting a non numbers goal - such as performing a chin up.... I thought 2 achievable non numbers goals for me would be:
1. Perform 10 FULL pushups in a row - up on toes (currently do womens push ups on my knees)
2. Move from level 2 in the Abs stregth section of the Fitness Test  - level to be announced once I get sent it again this round.  Last round my abs stregth didn't budge the whole 12 weeks!! Not this time!!

I think sticking close to the facebook page will help me this round, the L&S ladies are super motivated, super fit and super impressive - their before and after shots are out of this world!! I can't wait to add mine in 12 weeks time!!

**** Brag Alert****

I picked myself up after the 'measuring my fat rolls incedent', dusted myself off and headed to Harbour Town for a spot of shopping - On the agenda - a black skirt for netball (1st day Tuesday - stay tuned). 

So in short, after trampsing from sportstore to sprtstore in the rain, it went a little like this - Nike: wrong size - too big (only Large available)
                   - Fila: wrong size - too small (only extra extra small available)
                   - Adidas - right size (yay size 10) - wrong colour!! Doh
                     this is getting boring - bloody factory outlets!!
                   - New Balance - HOORAY!! right size, right colour, right price!!


What size you ask....? Extra Small!! (what!?) and a top to go with?? In size Small no less..... so I know that most factory outlets sell stock that may be faulty in some way..... maybe the tags are wrong on these babies.....but who cares!! I'm owning it!!!

Shapewear Be Gone!!

So today I completed Pre Season Task 3 – Take Control Set your Goal .  One of my 3 month goals (which will take us through to the end of this 12week program) is:

“To feel comfortable in my clothes without ‘The Tard’”.

I have a confession to make – all my friends know it – it’ll be no surprise to any of them – I wear conforming shape wear under my clothes EVERYTIME I leave the house, EVERYDAY without exception. 

I have many variations – but they all do the same thing – they squish my flabby bits in tighter so I appear to be thinner than I actually am.  I wear them under EVERTHING!!  At work, under my scrubs, I wear a full leotard version which my work mates have dubbed “The Tard”. 

I HATE the feeling of how my flabby bits wobble when I walk, when I’m not wearing  my shapewear – so I simply always wear it.  I wear it to work under my scrubs, I wear it to school pick up, I wear it to the gym and to boot camp under my workout clothes – always, always, always.  So much so that when I was telling people last round that I wanted to lose 12kg – they were saying “From where?!” Nobody believed that I had 12kg to lose because no one knew what I really look like, no one EVER sees my actual body shape, no one would EVER catch a glimpse of the skin on my tummy. 

If I ever lift my arms and my top rides up – all you’ll see is black.  If I ever bend over and my pants ride down – you’ll NEVER see my butt crack – you’ll just see black.  At the gym I’ll usually have 2 or 3 layers on the top to prevent all the wobbling when I’m moving about and always 2 layers on the bottom.  I can’t wear tights because I hate the shape of my bum and thighs and I can’t wear just shorts because I hate how flabby my thighs are and I couldn’t stand to have anyone see them flopping about as I’m working out!! So I wear both – always tights or bike shorts with my shorts on over the top.

My best friend always says to me “Why are you still wearing those things!!??” she doesn’t think I need them – But I do, I would just be so ashamed if someone got a view of my flabby tummy or my chubby butt crack!! And not to mention the love handles over the top of every pair of pants I own – even though I have lost 10kg!!

So one of my goals for this round is to lose “The Tard” to lose the shapewear – to go to the gym with just my top on and not constantly be sweating it up in 2 or more layers!! To have reshaped my body enough that I will no longer feel the need to wear shapewear everyday, everywhere. 

I am looking forward to “Lean and Strong” re-shaping my body so I feel confident enough to go bare!!..... Or just wear one layer of clothing for a change!! (It’ll be a hell of a lot cooler in summer!!)

Here They Are: Soon the shapewear will be GONE!!

Just Another Manic Monday

Mobile Phone Alarm set for 530am – must get up early to get everyone and everything ready so we can head off early for the first day of Grade 1.....

A child laughing in the neighbourhood wakes me – I check my phone – DEAD BATTERY – I check my watch – Sh*t!!!  It’s 645am!!

The first day of school for the year is a BIG deal – we live 15-20mins from school and together with traffic, road works and the first day school car-parking nightmare –we must leave early or we’ll be parked 3km away from the front gate!!  (personally I think that’s a great calorie burning opportunity, but dragging 2 young children along for the ride is not my idea of fun!!)

Stay calm, rational, we can do this.  Come on kids let’s get moving!!

Ps we got there in plenty of time – no need to panic – and I didn’t – that’s a win for me!!

Body Attack class diarised for 915am

9am - Still at school – Sh*t!!  We’ll be pushing it!! Let’s get moving, we can make it!!......

Oh no we can’t – missed the start of the class.  So my mind immediately thinks “I’ll get my wee girl from the Crèche and get going home – I’ve missed my class so that’s game over”.  Then it was like a little someone tapped me on the shoulder (or slapped me across the face) and said “Ummm Kate... you’re in a GYM!! There is equipment everywhere!!  Go attack some machines and do your workout!!”

So off I set –last week in Body Attack I smashed 643cal in 1hour – let’s see how many I can smash on my own in the same time.  Funny thing is I didn’t really have a goal, I was disappointed that I missed my class so  I thought I’d just do an hour and see how far I got – 20min max on machines in peak periods,  so let’s go 20min Bike, 20min Treadmill, 20min Cross Trainer – I can do that. 

Well my 20min on the bike saw me ride 5kms – almost exactly.  So I thought – I could go 2.5km on the treadmill then 2.5 on the Cross Trainer and make 10km in one hour!! All of a sudden I had a goal.  So Treadmill was next, I managed 2.7km in the 20mins – Great – I’m ahead of target, let’s bring it home on the cross trainer..... I tried – I did my best but I only managed 1.3km in the 20min (should have seen me sprinting in the last 2 min to bring it up to that!!)  So 9km in 60min – Not too bad, but I’m not there yet.  A quick check of my Heart rate monitor saw me at around the 600cal mark.  Ok so now I had a new goal – to reach 10km for the morning and to smash the 643cal I would have burned if I made it to the class.  So back to the bike for my last km (a cop out I must admit because it was easier than the Cross Trainer).  So after another few minutes to ride my way up to a 10km total and a cool down and stretch I managed 10km and 666cal burned in 1hr12mins.

I was so proud of myself – I was willing to walk away but I turned things around and had a win. 

So on the back of this win I decided to set myself another goal – to burn 1000cal today.  I booked in for a boot camp session this afternoon – all I needed was 334cal and I’d reach my target.....

Just another session at the gym!!

It’d been raining on and off all day and I was worried that boot camp would be cancelled..... and what do you know...... it was!!

So what to do now???.....A fellow blogger and my 12WBT buddy Leah gave me some inspiration at school pick up this afternoon "just run up and down some hills" she said, with a laugh.... Oh but that gave me a great idea!!

So some hills it was - 4.5km run (well lets face it some of it was walking - hills are hard) up and down the hills of Tanah Merah and up and down my In-Law's driveway - Killer!! So I knocked off another 365cal!!

1031cal burned for today!! I never gave up - I was going to win this challenge!!

Life is not always going to let me have my way – I won’t always be able to make the class, Boot camp will get rained out – but I do have the ability to get a good workout in off my own back and set myself challenges and not stop until I reach my goals!!

There is nothing more empowering than setting a goal and achieving it!! So there couldn’t be a better time for me for Michelle to announce the 3^rd preseason Task: Take Control – Set your Goal” which I will complete on my “Pre season Tasks” Page.'

 

The drive way at my In-Law's house!!

The bottom of the street....  

Another Hill to conquer before getting home!

 Powering up the driveway

Heading back down for yet another lap

Today saw positive change coming from positive energy!! Bring on Tomorrow!!

Ps All photos featuring me on this blog have been (and probably will continue to be) taken by my Official Blog Photographer - pictured below.  



Old me Vs New Me

This week in Mental Health week.  My cousin, who battled anorexia through her teens posted this on her facebook page.

My cousin and I used to have similar mindsets – in fact we’d feed off each other and encourage each other deeper into the world of destruction and self hatred, to be ever thinner and thinner. 

So today I was doing a little reflecting on the “Old Me” the one that (I’m struggling not to say “hope”) IS gone forever.

I still get moments pretty much every day where the Old me sneaks in her self doubt, her nasty remarks, her laziness (and incredible sweet tooth!!).

Its a tough gig to ditch!! The first time i remember being self conscience of my weight was when I was 7years old!! I remember refusing to get on the scales at the doctor during a check up – I remember sitting out the class at Ballet because my teacher told us all to take off our skirts for bar work and I refused as I didn’t have tights on underneath to suck in my thighs!! I ALWAYS remember being envious of other girls and wishing for her hair, her legs, her flat tummy, her lack of love handles, her pretty face, her perfect teeth......

I have seen some dark dark times, definitely more dark than light when it comes to my self image and my self worth.  I have missed parties, nights out on the town, re-unions, numerous events, catch ups and good times, because of the terror I felt at showing myself to people and simply being paralysed by the perceived opinions of others.  And all that is before even talking about how I almost destroyed my marriage with my poisonous self hate. 

In so many ways I have come so far, but in many others I still have a ways to go in believing in myself and acknowledging that I’m not a hideous beast – because I’m not!!

I popped down to the corner store today for some bread, I got out my car and there were a bunch of teenagers sitting around on their bikes blocking the path.  I immediately sucked in my abs muscles as far as I could, put my eyes to the ground and stepped over their bikes and worried the whole time about what they might be thinking about me.  I caught myself out – I thought to myself – I can’t wait until the end of the round when I will have worked away my “stubborn wobbly bits” (as I have now dubbed them), and walk through a crowd without being afraid!!  Then I thought - Why not start right now at kicking my negative thoughts to the curb, the “old me” out on her arse!!  – so I bought my (wholemeal) bread, turned around, threw my shoulders back, my chin up and strutted back past the teenagers to my car with my head held high!!

I just have to focus on little things each day that I can do to help me focus and stay positive - I made my mantra for yesterday - "I maintain a positive attitude" becasue the day before the "old me" tangled up my mind so deep in her rotten negativity that I had talked myself out of my ability to complete this next round!! I brought out the old "I'm never going to make it, I can't do it" to my husband... it is SO easy to slip back down.  So i just breathed "I maintain a positive attitude" every time I thought a thought derived from the "old me".... it actually worked.

What else worked was taking my before shot - I took one for the beginning of the pre-season and I'll take one at the end to show myself how far I can come in just 4 weeks.  I felt terrible in my new bikini, pulling the tiny piece of material that was supposed to cover my bum, fidgeting - HATING it - then my husband took the photos and showed me and I was suprised - Hey I don't look as bad as I thought I did - I CAN do this!! I WILL have a flat stomach at the end of this round!! I WILL have just one set of bum cheeks!!! I was so relieved to see the photos, I forgot to be down that I had put on 500g on the scales since last weigh in!!

So take a look - I've posted them on my "Weigh in Wednesday" Page for all to see (eeekkkk) (be brave Kate) where I will be posting my results from the scales each and every week.

I was Attacked!!

I had a whinge to my husband this morning about the Timetable at my Gym - "There is too much Zumba and not enough intensity workouts!! There is not even one single BodyAttack or FatBurner class at all!!"

But I hadn't been to the gym in a week had I?? So, on approach to my "BodyStep" class I see a bright new sign drawing my eyes toward the "New Class Timetable - Starting Monday 16th Jan" - Well what do you know - That's today!! 


BODYATTACK™ is the sports-inspired cardio workout for building strength and stamina. This high-energy interval training class combines athletic aerobic movements with strength and stabilization exercises. Dynamic instructors and powerful music motivate everyone towards their fitness goals - from the weekend athlete to the hard-core competitor!

Yes!! BodyAttack!! Alright!! Finally!!

(is what I thought to myself as I walked in and found my position front and centre!!)

Well within the first 5mins of the "warm up" my heart rate was well over my peak workout zone!! Oh Boy - was that week I took away from the gym really going to make me pay that baddly?? Or was this class just going to KILL ME regardless??

Holy Smokes - The class certainly lived up to its name - My body certainly felt attacked!! It felt beaten and broken!! But I gave it my absolute all and it obviously showed because the instructor (that I have a secret body crush on- HOT!) told me after the class that she thought I did a great job and she was impressed to see how high I was jumping in the last track when I was clearly shagged but still giving level 3 a go!! That made me feel like a star pupil - and then I take a look at my Heart Rate Monitor "Holy F*@k" I accidently exclaimed in front of her - I burned 643cal in the 1hr!! NEVER EVER have I EVER pulled that number out in an hour before!! I knew I smashed it and there was the proof right there on my wrist!! My heartrate Max was 200bpm!!! Shouldn't I be dead???

So today I am feeling great!! I mean, my body aches everytime I move but that counts as great in my book!! Day One of Round 1 12WBT 2012 done and won!!

Whilst looking online for a BodyAttack Logo I found this pic.......

TRUE THAT!!!