Comfort Zone...?? Where are you???

School Holiday time and we are staying in our Caravan in Woolgoolga (close to Coffs Harbour) for 3 whole weeks!!!

The very first thing I arranged of course was my Gym membership!! I was not willing to let my training go by the way side for 3 whole weeks!! That's a quarter of the Program!! So day one, I marched up to the local "Health Club" to sign up....I walked in the door, joined up for the month, and then took the tour....

My heart started racing, my fists clenched, I could feel my anxiety and insecurities rising to the surface...or was that vomit??

The place is so prehistoric, so back to basics, so raw and old-school - I felt way way way out of my comfort zone!

The weights are rusty, the carpet is ripped, the Smith machine is broken, the stuffing is coming out of the benches, there are holes in the walls and old pieces of rusty equipment stacked up in piles in the corners.....I felt lost and scared!!

What made matters worse (only worse for my ego and my nausea) was that newly made friends from the Caravan park were there too....how was I supposed stumble my way through my program in this uncertain, unfamiliar environment with two super fit, confident people watching me....spotting me.....??? There was nowhere to hide!!

I reverted from a person who confidently walks the floor of my gym at home into an insecure version of myself, stumbling about, making excuses, feeling inadequate and like a complete amateur ...actually - hold up - that's a lie, I confidently walk about in the ladies section and when I have to use equipment in the main gym I slink out, with my eyes to the floor, do what I need to do and can't get back to the safety and security of the ladies area quick enough.....so maybe I haven't fallen as far with my confidence as I first thought!!!

The absolute bonus is (regardless of how inadequate and deflated I felt receiving it) I got what felt like a free personal training session from my new super fit friends!! I got direction on how to perfect my technique in many areas - you certainly can't get away with poor technique when attempting squats and chest presses without my beloved Smith Machine which keeps up my form without too much thinking by me!! (Cheater cheater!!)

I have set myself new challenges for the weeks of "Holiday" in front of me and I am enjoying spending my time with likeminded people, people who accept and encourage this lifestyle, rather than those who tell me that I am "good enough" as I am.
I have no desire to be the BEST at anything, except the BEST VERSION of MYSELF, I have no intention of "going too far" just as far as I need to go to be proud!! And spending a few more weeks with people who feel the same will only serve me well!!

I love this - it's on the wall in the Cross Fit room....

So so true!! Thought I may try out some CROSS FIT whilst I'm here and it's included in my monthly membership...I have always wanted to do it, watched on as others have given in a whirl....I am scared....of course!! There for I must do it!!

See if I can create some magic while I am out there flailing far far from my comfort zone!!!

Watch this space I am going to be smashing out some results this week!!

My vision board

I LOVED LOVED LOVED this weeks surprise weekly task set by Mish!!

To create a VISION board to inspire me on my journey to my goals.

I have never used photo shop type programs before and I have in the past just ignored the weekly tasks if they appeared to hard!!

NOT THIS ROUND!!

It took a little fumbling through programs and sorting out my favourite images but I got there in the end.

I absolutely LOVE my vision board!! I have it printed on the wall in front of my treadmil and as the wallpaper on this here laptop!!

I start the day with a cuppa and breakie in front of my laptop everyday - everyday I will open my day with focus, drive and determination to succeed at my goals.

Let me take you on a tour of my board....

* The top left corner Pic is Mary (Splasharama for all those living in 12wbt land) - she has lost a MASSIVE 48+ kilos and is one of my BIGGEST inspirations!! She shows me so much support and continues to inspire me and make my jaw drop almost everyday!!

* Bridge to Brisbane - I will work towards my goal of 10km in 60min!!

* JFDI - Self explanitory - Just F'in Do It!!

* Finale Dress - I am on the hunt for a sexy red bandage dress for finale!! I WILL look super hot in red in Perth in September!!

* "Take Pride in how far you have come and have faith in how far you can go" I really have come so far and I've FINALLY found enough self belief to see faith in my abilities to suceed at my goals

* "Don't let comparisons Steal your Joy" - I have constantly compared myself to others and it brings me nothing but angst and disappointment - I must have self belief that I am enough!!

* "She believed she could so she did!" - this will describe me come September after smashing all of my goals!!

*There's a pic there of my bum in Mish's size 8 ONE ACTIVE tights!! Ew! This is the before pic - lets see how hot it looks in 10 more weeks - these are my goal pants.

*18% - My goal to get down to 18% Body Fat

*Project 59 - I AM going to be under 60kg!!

*" Love yourself Love your Body"....another goal - I'll get there.

* "Work in Progess" Another Butt Before Pic "You WILL turn this into a hot arse!!"

*Running Running Running!! Don't stop until you're proud!! And I wont!!

Soooooo Close!!

Today was a rough day, I hit snooze on my alarm so many times I ended up not only missing my workout but I was late getting my wee boy to school as well....still catching up on my BIG 30hr day Mon/Tues (excuses excuses)

"It's ok I deserved the sleep in I will train this evening at the gym and pop the kids in the Creche"

.....same old story I always tell myself - same old senario occured - LIFE!!

Lunch time came and I recieved a call from the school - Wee man is sick and needs picking up from the sick bay.

Sick child = No creche = No Gym = Missed workout....AGAIN!!

It was 5pm - I was feeling disappointed in myself and frustrated that I STILL HADN'T TRAINED!! I was working on my Vision Board, placing inspirational pictures about my goals, hopes and asperations.....sitting on my bum, instead of living it and JFDI!!!

So I got up, put on my running shoes and hit the treadmill.

I thought I'd give myself a little test - no looking down! Just run without knowing how fast I was going, how long I had run for and how far I had gone....just to listen to my body and not my brain telling me that "I can't"....

I had the window in front of me, the radio behind me and I was free.  I felt SO DAMN good!! I was keeping a nice pace, I was singing (in my head) to the music, I was laughing out loud to Fifi and Jules and I was enjoying the run.

When I allowed myself to look down I had been running for 45mins and I was over 7km!!! I just couldn't believe how far I had gone feeling good and relaxed.

I pushed through to the 60min mark and made 9.2km!!!

My goal of 10km in 60min is WELL within my reach!! It feel so exciting to know that I WILL reach that goal and I WILL run Bridge to Brisbane this year in 60min!!

I am so excited that I am just 800m from my goal!! I feel on top of the world.

So glad that I got off my butt and JFDI!! 

Manic Monday....or was it Tuesday???

What a CRAZY massive day!!
A week starting with a public holiday starts me off from behind because it means an extra day at work - Monday's public holiday was no exception!!

I did the night shift - I was supposed to finish at 2am, but that went into 3am which went into 4am (now Tuesday)..... At this point I was trying to decide between going home and trying to stay awake until the kids get up at 6am (HOW??) or I taking the oppertunity to go to the gym.

I chose the gym!! I knew it would be the only chance I would get to work out that day and I didn;t want to fall behind!!

So gym it was - it' was 430am, I had been awake since 6am the day before and I am faced with back to back workouts - Monday's Lean and Strong and Tuesdays!!

This was my 2nd trip to the gym during one awake period (note how I'm calling it an "awake period" and not a "day" - because I didn't really know what day it was!!).  I had been to the gym Monday morning - but had only completed my 10k program and Mean Abs/Tuff Butt - but not yet my Lean and Strong.....

.....are you with me???....keep up......

Without my gym bag and workout book with me I had to print the program at work and workout in my scrubs!!

I don't know if it was the double workout, sleep deprivation or the 3 coffees I drank at work throughout the night (I NEVER drink coffee) but I alsmost threw up after that training session it was MASSIVE!!!

I was so proud of myself for seizing the oppertunity to train and not giving in or giving up!!

I posted this pic to the Pirates....

I didn't even notice until I took this picture that I still had my glasses on!!!

Lucky for me my gloves were in the glove box (hahaha!!) 

S.S.S #1

For all those who live with me in 12WBT Land and those who follow my blog - you'd be familar with the term S.S.S.


If you don't let me briefly explain an S.S.S is a Super Saturday Session.  Michelle sets us out a massive training plan designed to smash up big calories on a Saturday so we can enjoy a treat meal on Saturday and a rest day on Sunday - guilt free!!


So ever since last Sunday when I was putting my weekly plan together, cutting and pasting the plans into my workout book and first spied the plan for this weeks SSS - I have been dreading it - scared of it.


My alarm went off this morning at 5am "Get Up for the Gym"  - got up....thought about the SSS and fell onto the couch.....thinking....negotiating with myself....I climbed back into bed holding onto a list of acceptable excuses:


1. I went to bed way too late last night, I've had 5hours sleep, if I stay awake now I will be up all day, I'm working tonight, it'll be midnight before I'm back to bed....I can't do that to myself!!
2. My husband, who has been away, is in my bed, warm, snuggly, home!!!
3. I can do it later.....

(Ps the spooning cuddles were very nice thank you very much!! My Favourite!!)


So 7am comes, up I get for the second time - Had a Protein Pre Workout Shake (after some advice this week from a trusted Pirate)

Oh Dear - now that I've had this shake I will need to wait at least an hour before smashing out that SSS, maybe I could some time on facebook talking about the SSS and how afraid I am of it with the Pirates....ooohhh little bit of dress shopping on line.....


ok ok it's been an hour...

Right so I'm down stairs, the kids are in front of a DVD - lets hit this thing, this beast, this monkey on my back!!

....it went a little something like this....

• 60 Burpees
• 60 Hip Raises
• 60 Side Planks
• 60 Mountain Climbers
• 60 Sumo Squats
• 60 Tricep Dips
• 60 Plyometric Lunges
• 60 Push Ups
• 60 Double Crunches
• 60sec Wall Sit
• Hill Program on the Treadmil up over the hour then
• 60sec of Ski Jumps

I lived!! Turns out I LOVED IT!! I especially loved the hills on the treadmil - I always go in a straight line on the same incline (ie - 1%) when I'm running so to feel the burn in my legs as I was running at 8km/hr with the incline at 10% was AWESOME! I was actually visualising my bum getting smaller with every painful step!!


Well it was a good workout - Traditionally the old SSS is supposed to take you up to 1000cal - and this time last year I would have burned that and more but today I got to 602cal which I am happy with. One half of my brain says I should have kept going to reach my 1000 - the other half was chanting "rest, rest, rest, breakfast, rest, water, water!!!"

So rest I did. Feeling Great!!


As great as I feel I still only have 1 thing to say......

Well certainly everyone who partook in that SSS today!!

Pirate Graduates

Last night I was home alone - a fri night watching catcp up TV on line - fun fun fun!! (note the sarcasm)

It was set to look like this....

I had no idea that I was about to have the most laughs I have had in a really loooong time!!

My Pirate friends (fellow 12WBT'ioners completing the Lean and Strong Program) were pulling out the one liners, witty comments and outrageously funny stories one after the other after the other Bam Bam Bam!!

Had me in stiches.  We could have all been in the same room with a drink in hand, the conversations were so quick and entertaining.  Laugh after laugh, sitting in front of my computer big smile on my face.

I haven't watched one of my favourite shows "New Girl" in ages, so I thought I'd entertain myself with a few laughs catching up on line - well turns out I was pausing the show to pop back and see what I was missing with the Pirates, because our conversation there was way more exciting.

I have never been involved in such an on-line family ever before.  For a group of people, strangers really, who are from all over the country and beyond, who all lead very differnt lives with very different personalities, to mesh so well, to be so in sync.....it amazes me and I am so pleased and proud to be apart of it.

We all came together with a common goal - to work our tails off (literally) doing L&S along side each other (well, as along side as people scattered all over can be), seeking advice, support and praise from each other.  We were looking for a safe place to be ourselves, share our progress and have someone to be there for us when the tough gets going.  This week has really opened my eyes to how amazing our bond has become.

I have never met a nicer, funnier, more supportive, non judgemental, driven, spectacular bunch of people - who are strangers no more!!

I absolutely love sharing my journey with my Pirates and I look forward to spending another 12 weeks with a handful of great people right by my side, spotting me through the next stage of my quest to find the best version of myself!!

A sample of Pirates, but certainly not all who make up the AMAZEBALLS bunch of people I now call my friends!!

The complete 180

Week 1 Round 2 2012 has been a complete whirlwind!! I really STILL haven't caught up from my weekend away - I have been go go go since EARLY Monday morning, I have not grocery shopped I have not cleaned and I really don't have time to sit here right now - I'm half typing, half cooking dinner, half bathing the kids and half doing the dishes...oh and Facebook is up as well of course!!

Already I am falling behind with all the MUST DO's I listed for myself to complete every day - I did say that I MUST do a blog everynight...and I haven't.  Nights have been late and mornings have been early - but this is the life I have chosen thus I will embrace it.

One thing I will say is that for 2 nights in a row I have gone to bed proud of myself, without an overful belly and without a sugar coma headache.  I have enjoyed my running in the mornings and getting up early again makes me feel in control!!

I love feeling in control of my life - as Mish would say "With two hands firmly on the stearing wheel, driving my own life, not letting life drive me!!"



Not that it's a smooth or easy ride - I'm fighting my cravings right now like no body's business - but that's because I'm coming off of weeks of binging - so of course its going to be tough to start saying "no" again - but seriously - No feels so so so much better than yes!!

I've made myself do a complete 180 - I was saying YES to junk food and NO to training and now it's the absolute opposite - I know which feel better!! And I know which ruins results.

I weighed in today - Week 1 Weigh in Wednesday and I had a gain of 900g!! My initial weight was in preseason (2 or so weeks ago) so it just goes to show how much of a difference eating all that shit and not moving my arse has made.....to my arse (oh yes it's bigger) - all of my measurements are bigger.

To put things into perspective last round in 12 weeks I lost a total of 41.5cm, 1.5kg and 8% BF..... in the 4 short weeks since finishing the round (and falling face first into a month long party food binge) I have gained 1.7kg and 17cm!!!!!!!

Holy Hell if that doesn't smack you in the face and yell at you "What have you done woman!!!????" I don't know what does!!

BUT

I am not plunging further into the bag of maltesers (oh but they are so good) and I know the numbers look terrible - but I don't look terrible - I still look good I can feel the cms in my clothes, of course I can BUT (again with the buts) I know how to change it, I have made those changes and will continue to make those changes and I will ABSOLUTELY not fall into that trap of ending my healthy lifestyle when I end the 12 weeks.

I believe in myself - last round I was up, down and around so many times you would have thought I was living in a theme park!! Just read my previous blogs!!

This round I am focused, I am strong and I am unstoppable!!!

I WILL be under 60kg
I WILL be @/or under 18% BF
I WILL run 10km in 60min
and
I WILL rock a red dress at finale....!!!!!