What!!?? Another Breakdown??

Its was coming.....coming.....coming....It happened - The flood gates opened up last night!! With the old "I'm a complete failure", "I'll never succeed at this", "I'm not coping with this",  "I can't handle not seeing any results!! - Its been 3 full weeks!!!"....Ok that's where he got me!!  He slapped me around with a bit of "This program is 12 weeks long - you've just completed week 3 - that's ONE QUARTER of the way!! How do you expect your body to completely turn around in 3 weeks!!" 

Thanks Darl - I needed that perspective that I just couldn't internalise for myself!! Of course, I am ONLY 3 weeks in not I'VE DONE 3 WEEKS!! BIG Difference.

I also got 2 inbox messages from 2 lovely ladies from the L&S page, checking in with me as they were concerned about my posts lately and wanted to make sure I was ok, mindset wise!!

ALARM BELLS ARE RINGING when complete strangers can recognise signs in my behaviour that I cannot see myself. 

To me constricting my carbs and water intake on the day before weigh day is NORMAL - these tricks I have been playing for years and years and years..... so posting the question "do you think restricting water is having the opposite effect to what I desire on the scales" to the Pirates was just a simple, curious question for me to ask - or so I thought!! Wow did the comments come in thick and fast!! CRAZY they think I'm CRAZY!!  

I am so messed up in the head from YEARS of self destructive habits and thought patterns that I don't even know when I'm acting like a crazy person anymore!! What is completely normal in my head is irrational and disturbed in the minds of all the normal people out there!!

I am glad this happened though - I am glad that I can stop and step outside my brain and see where I was heading with that - down that same old self destructive path.  It was a nice reality check to hear from those 2 women who felt concerned enough to reach out.  I forget sometimes that I have chosen the path of GOOD HEALTH and FITNESS - not self destructive patterns of behaviour that only lead to short term, fleeting, pretend success.  I chose to leave all that behind - I didn't even realise that I was allowing some of that old shit to crawl back in.

So in the spirit of healthy mind healthy body, today I am celebrating my wins!! Most of these wins have come to my attention by my, always there for me Husband last night during my breakdown.....

** I have completed my 12WBT L&S Program for 3 full weeks TO THE LETTER, no short cuts, no giving up

** I have completed 3 weeks with clean eating, solid nutition and without giving into tempation to eat sugar laden foods. (yay me!!)

** I can already see tone and definition in my upper body - in ONLY 3 weeks

** I have consistently increased my weights and/or reps in EVERY area of the program - I am SMASHING my workouts at the gym!! (and feel great about it!!)

** I got told by a mother at school that she believed I was a terrific mother and at 10 years my senior, she admired me for my parenting and for the wonderful example I set to my children and to many in the way I live my life with determination and perseverence. (tear)

** I have been told by so many people lately how I am inspiring them to go forth in their weight loss journeys and how they look to my progress and shift in mindset as an inspiration and a motivation for them to strive for success at their own goals!!

** I took the GA bib at netball today!! A game that I haven't played for 18years (and quite frankly it shows).  I took that bib and scored 3 goals for my team!! More importantly I TRIED for 6!! I took the ball, focused on the net and gave it a god damn crack instead of simply passing it to the shooter!! (I did have a jump up and down squeeling clapping moment after each goal!!)

** I recognised my slip in mindset - I have rectified it.  I could have chosen the dark path into self destruction, but I rose above my fears and doubts and can hold my head high!!

 Mindset for the win!!