So Wednesday weigh in - we all know I am pushing for 60kg before the start of the round - I posted all of my diary entries for a whole week - this was going to be big - 1kg for sure right??? WRONG!!
I walked the walk this week - 100% - but I look down at the scales and see 61.5kg, I see a loss of only 600g!!
Immediately my mind goes into autopilot - I'm no longer in control - the thoughts come into my head and out of my mouth.....
Alas, it's gone!!
The goal is now officially out of my reach!!
The round starts Monday - I will not lose 1.5kg in 5 days.
It's over!!
I've failed again!! I failed at my goals last round and I've failed again!!
I finished last round 2 months ago and I cannot budge this weight!!
I've had 2 months to get to 60kg!!
Why bother even beginning this round when I know now I cannot EVER succeed at achieving my goals??
I've waisted my time I've waisted my effort - all that effort for only 600g!!!
What did I need right then? (other than a slap across the face?) I needed support, I needed encouragement, I needed kind words and a reminder of how far I've come..... and I got it! Thanks to my husband Xx
Out of my mouth was such negativity and defined defeat - out of his - everything I needed to pick myself up and shake it all off!! In my head down, back turned sulk, I heard the words right up close to my ear...
You are my biggest inspiration
You inspire and impress me everyday
Your tansformation has been incredible
You are a fantastic role model for our children
Our 2 year old daughter threw a chocolate biscuit in the bin yesterday because it was rubbish food - who do you think taught her that??
I believe in you - You can do this
You know what - I can do this!!
I have to believe - I have to not think and just do - it all comes down to JFDI!!
Always has, always will!!
I will get through this round feeling more tight tonned and terrific than I ever have in my life - this is a fact - whether my goals turn out to be achieveable or not, whether I reach 19% body fat or not, whether I can do an unassisted chin up or not - I will finish this round - the best version of myself.
This is a fact.
This I will chant to myself (other than the usual "I am strong, I am strong" which I pull out daily). Just follow the program, be consistant and the results will absolutely follow. This is a fact!!
Thank you to my fabulously supportive husband for not rolling his eyes and saying "here we go again with this shit!" but for picking me up and forcing me to listen to all the positives that my defeatist brain didn't want to hear and making me stop the rot and once again start focusing on the positives that surround me.
Love you Steve Xx
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
Accelorator Day
Accelorator Day - My least Favourite Day of the week - IT'S JUST ONE DAY A WEEK KATE - GET OVER IT!!
I really have to get better at accepting Accelorator Days - this is 1 day a week (usually planned for the day preceeding weigh in day) where you don't eat any carbs - complex simple or otherwise - this means
NO - Sugar
Bread
Crackers
Even Fruit!!
Mish introduced this to us within the last few weeks of last round and re-kick our weighloss in those last stubbon weeks - she also has an Accelorator day everyweek in her "Losing the last 5 kg Book"
I accept them, I embrace them, but I certainly don't enjoy them - As a vegetarian this is a tough day for me - my snacks always include, fruit and crackers, fruit yoghurt (just look at my last weeks posts of all of my food diaries) and my meals usually always contain carbs.
I did have 1/2 a pitta bread for my lunch today (disguised as Pizza) but I was strapped for time and it was left over from Sunday night - so to save it being thrown out and to eat something before heading off to work, I ate the carbs.
I need to get better at Accelorator days and so I am going to set some goals for next Tuesday - There ARE snacks out there that don;t include carbs - I just have to stop sulking and start peeling a carrot and chopping some celery!! Look at my Diary for today......
My calorie Count was WAY under (even with the consumption of some sneaky fruit) - my usual daily quota is 1200cal - today it was 710!! I am afraid my body will start to remember the years of starvation I put it through and begin again to store fat for the winter!! I feel sluggish, irritable and slow on Tuesdays - and I know it's because I spend all day focusing on the CAN'Ts (can't eat this,, can't eat that) instead of the CANs (I can eat celery with hummus....)
So another MINI GOAL - to get better at Accelorator Day - I plan to do this by....
* Adding baked beans to my scrambled egg breakie
*Having Carrot Celery and Beans cut and ready in the fridge for snacks (with cottage cheese or hummus)
* Eat my past "Accelorator Day salad" which includes cheese, avo and a boiled egg
That should see me full of energy, consuming my 1200cal AND have me able to be more positive about going into a Tuesday!!
I really have to get better at accepting Accelorator Days - this is 1 day a week (usually planned for the day preceeding weigh in day) where you don't eat any carbs - complex simple or otherwise - this means
NO - Sugar
Bread
Crackers
Even Fruit!!
Mish introduced this to us within the last few weeks of last round and re-kick our weighloss in those last stubbon weeks - she also has an Accelorator day everyweek in her "Losing the last 5 kg Book"
I accept them, I embrace them, but I certainly don't enjoy them - As a vegetarian this is a tough day for me - my snacks always include, fruit and crackers, fruit yoghurt (just look at my last weeks posts of all of my food diaries) and my meals usually always contain carbs.
I did have 1/2 a pitta bread for my lunch today (disguised as Pizza) but I was strapped for time and it was left over from Sunday night - so to save it being thrown out and to eat something before heading off to work, I ate the carbs.
I need to get better at Accelorator days and so I am going to set some goals for next Tuesday - There ARE snacks out there that don;t include carbs - I just have to stop sulking and start peeling a carrot and chopping some celery!! Look at my Diary for today......
My calorie Count was WAY under (even with the consumption of some sneaky fruit) - my usual daily quota is 1200cal - today it was 710!! I am afraid my body will start to remember the years of starvation I put it through and begin again to store fat for the winter!! I feel sluggish, irritable and slow on Tuesdays - and I know it's because I spend all day focusing on the CAN'Ts (can't eat this,, can't eat that) instead of the CANs (I can eat celery with hummus....)
So another MINI GOAL - to get better at Accelorator Day - I plan to do this by....
* Adding baked beans to my scrambled egg breakie
*Having Carrot Celery and Beans cut and ready in the fridge for snacks (with cottage cheese or hummus)
* Eat my past "Accelorator Day salad" which includes cheese, avo and a boiled egg
That should see me full of energy, consuming my 1200cal AND have me able to be more positive about going into a Tuesday!!
Monday, 6 February 2012
Saturday, 4 February 2012
Let them eat cake!!
So proud to have something positive to report!! Today was a complete success.
Super Saturday Session completed - 1010cal Burned! I felt absolutely shattered after over 2hours of training this morning - I was certainly not going to take one tiny bit of my hard work away by eating any of that cake!!
I brushed my teeth before icing it and got the kids to lick the bowl before I got a chance. It was HEAPS easier than I thought it was going to be - I feel 10 x more empowered by saying no to that cake than I would have enjoyed eating it!!
Will power makes me feel strong and successful - caving in makes me feel guilty, shitty, regretful and depressed sparking a chain of negative thoughts leading to negative actions - I 'll be taking the side of will power more often in the future!!
Its amazing how a simple challenge like not eating birthday cake can be so substantial - I like this feeling :)
I feel like a winner!!
So having my family over for dinner and I didn't stray once from the plan a had set forth - FINALLY!! I enjoyed their company, I enjoyed my home-made 450cal treat-night pizza and I even enjoyed my LeRice - who'da thought. I didn't even get tempted watching them eat it - and the half that was left got sent home with it's owner.
Super Saturday Session completed - 1010cal Burned! I felt absolutely shattered after over 2hours of training this morning - I was certainly not going to take one tiny bit of my hard work away by eating any of that cake!!
I brushed my teeth before icing it and got the kids to lick the bowl before I got a chance. It was HEAPS easier than I thought it was going to be - I feel 10 x more empowered by saying no to that cake than I would have enjoyed eating it!!
Will power makes me feel strong and successful - caving in makes me feel guilty, shitty, regretful and depressed sparking a chain of negative thoughts leading to negative actions - I 'll be taking the side of will power more often in the future!!
Its amazing how a simple challenge like not eating birthday cake can be so substantial - I like this feeling :)
I feel like a winner!!
So having my family over for dinner and I didn't stray once from the plan a had set forth - FINALLY!! I enjoyed their company, I enjoyed my home-made 450cal treat-night pizza and I even enjoyed my LeRice - who'da thought. I didn't even get tempted watching them eat it - and the half that was left got sent home with it's owner.
 | ||||||
| SSS - ouch!!
|
 |
| Who would rather eat that cake over that LeRice??? Cake Vs LeRice!! LeRice 1, Cake zero!! |
 |
| Success at last!! |
Friday, 3 February 2012
Oops I did it again
Well true to form - I've done it again - ignored the dangers of a red flag day! Its not the end of the universe - but I did have a plan to beat it and I ignored it!!
I licked the bowl!!......well not literally, of course, but a chocolate birthday cake I did just put in the oven and I did take a spoon to the bowl to scrape down the sides and lick that spoon!! (a few times.....)
Grr!! the calories in that are imeasurable - I just put it down as 100....few teaspoons maybe??? SEE!!! This is why I red flagged it - because I knew I have a problem with stopping the spoon from reaching my mouth - I had a plan - chew gum at the same time. My excuse - I had no gum - but I did have toothpaste, so there goes that weak excuse out the window!!
Those few (delicious as they were) teaspoons took me over my 1200cal intake for the day.
Its not the calories that bother me - it's my will power - my ability to say NO I feel I have let myself down again - mentally .
So here it is folks - Another mini goal - tomorrow when I ice that cake and decorate that cake and serve that cake - I WILL NOT EAT A CRUM OF THAT CAKE!!
I have already bought a LeRice (166cal) for my dessert to eat when everyone else is eating cake so I don't feel like I'm missing out.
I have told my husband my goal so I can be held accountable for my actions.
Watch this space for a full report of tomorrows cake avaoidance antics!!
I will succeed!!
As Promised - My diary entry for today - completed - honestly - 100%
I licked the bowl!!......well not literally, of course, but a chocolate birthday cake I did just put in the oven and I did take a spoon to the bowl to scrape down the sides and lick that spoon!! (a few times.....)
Grr!! the calories in that are imeasurable - I just put it down as 100....few teaspoons maybe??? SEE!!! This is why I red flagged it - because I knew I have a problem with stopping the spoon from reaching my mouth - I had a plan - chew gum at the same time. My excuse - I had no gum - but I did have toothpaste, so there goes that weak excuse out the window!!
Those few (delicious as they were) teaspoons took me over my 1200cal intake for the day.
Its not the calories that bother me - it's my will power - my ability to say NO I feel I have let myself down again - mentally .
So here it is folks - Another mini goal - tomorrow when I ice that cake and decorate that cake and serve that cake - I WILL NOT EAT A CRUM OF THAT CAKE!!
I have already bought a LeRice (166cal) for my dessert to eat when everyone else is eating cake so I don't feel like I'm missing out.
I have told my husband my goal so I can be held accountable for my actions.
Watch this space for a full report of tomorrows cake avaoidance antics!!
I will succeed!!
As Promised - My diary entry for today - completed - honestly - 100%
Thursday, 2 February 2012
Photo's Only
I've had a massive day today, physically and emotionally - Just photo blogging today as promised.....
 |
| Food Diary for the day |
 |
| Calorie's Burned Today |
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
A month in Review
As today is the 1st of February and the first month of the year is now behind me (already!!) I thought I would reflect on my diary over the last month and see how I faired with the goals I set at the beginning of the year...... My Goals set for January were as follows:
 |
| Page from my diary I made before New Years 2012 |
So let's see where I sit.....
§ To hit 60kg on the scales
§ To lose weight EVERY week (no gains)
§ To stay positive and honest
§ To live a mantra every day
Did I do everything I was supposed to do to get there?
§ By exercising 6 days a week?
(I have been training 3-4 times a week)
§ By NOT eating any of mum's birthday Cake
(I'm a good cook - I caved!!!)
§ By tracking my Calories in my food diary
EVERYDAY??
(I had 100% completion of my food diary on
only 10 days out of the 31 days throughout
January!!!) SHOCKING!!!
I really let myself down!! This is so like me - I talk the talk, but can't walk the walk!!
BUT looking at the positives of this situation....
I'm glad this happened NOW and not one month into the 12WBT round. I'm glad that I have reflected and seen that I didn't try hard enough and that not one of my goals were met because I did not 100% completely succeed at ONE of the tasks that were supposed to get me there!!
Although I am completely disapointed in myself - I'm not dwelling on it - I'm learning from it. It is so easy to talk the talk, to set the goals to say "I'm gunna" but it takes so much more to ACTUALLY do it. This is what is making me so terrified of the next round!! Last round I wanted to lose 12kg and only lost 9 - I know deep down that was because I didn't follow the program to the absolute letter. I HAVE to do that this time and it terrifies me. I think I'm going to fail myself again!
At least now - it's in black and white (and red...) that I a haven't done what it takes - I have to recify this!!
At least now - it's in black and white (and red...) that I a haven't done what it takes - I have to recify this!!
So Mini goal Time:
This week (wed to wed/weigh day to weighday) I WILL:
§ Exercise 6 days (Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Mon, Tues)
and
and
§ Diarise my food HONESTLY all week
I Will take a photo of my Diary page everyday to prove I have done it - Even if I don't have time to sit and a write a blog entry, I will at least post my100% FILLED OUT diary entry each day regardless.
Here is today's diary
Already I can feel a big number coming along for this week - already I have put things back in the cupboard that I would normally have a little nibble at - because I didn't want it in my food diary!! That's progress.
Little bites add up - what you sneak into your mouth in private can be seen on your body in public!!! and on the scales each Wednesday!!
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